Doris: Well how do you like that? Not so much as a "kiss my foot" or "have an apple"!

Bob Wallace: How do you do?
Doris: Mutual, I'm sure.

Phil Davis: I want you to get married. I want you to have nine children. And if you only spend five minutes a day with each kid, that's forty-five minutes, and I'd at least have time to go out and get a massage or something.
Phil Davis: That's very funny. Ho, ho, ho. The crooner is becoming the comic.

Phil Davis: How can I guy that ugly have the nerve to have sisters?
Bob Wallace: Very brave parents.

Bob Wallace: Oh, Phil, when are you going to learn that girls like that are a dime a dozen?
Phil Davis: Please, don't quote me the price when I haven't got the time.

Bob Wallace: You don't expect me to get serious with the kind of characters you and Rita have been throwing at me, do you?
Phil Davis: Well, there have been some nice girls too, you know.
Bob Wallace: Oh yeah, yeah. Like that nuclear scientist we just met out in the hall.
Phil Davis: All right, they didn't go to college. They didn't go to Smith.
Bob Wallace: Go to Smith? She couldn't even spell it!

Phil Davis: In some way's you're far superior to my Cocker Spaniel.

Phil Davis: Give me one reason, one good reason, why we should spend our last 2 hours in Florida looking at the sister's of Freckle-Face Haynes, the dog-faced boy.
Bob Wallace:  Let's just say we're doing it for an old friend in the army.
Phil Davis:  Well, it's a reason... not good, but a reason.

Phil Davis: It's cozier, isn't it? Boy, girl, boy, girl.

Phil Davis: Mr. Wallace was just saying how remarkable it was that Benny Haynes sisters should have eyes-
[voice cracks]
Phil Davis: -I mean, blue eyes. That is eyes. . .

Vermont must be beautiful this time of year...all that SNOW!

Phil Davis:  How much is WOW?
Bob Wallace: Somewhere between ouch a POING!

Doris:  I sure wish it would happen to me!
Phil Davis:  Yeah, I do too!

Phil Davis:  We like to take care of our friends.
Judy:  But we're almost strangers...
Phil Davis:  We'd like to take care of that, too!