|Harry: When I buy a new book,
I read the last page first. That way,
in case I die
before I finish, I know how it ends. That, my friend, is a dark side.
Harry: You realize of course
that we can never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I'm saying...
is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets
in the way.
Sally: That's not true.
Harry: No man can be friends
with a woman he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: What if they don't
want to have sex with you?
Harry: Doesn't matter, because
the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed
and that is the end of the story.
Sally: Well I guess we're
not going to be friends then.
Harry: Guess not.
Sally: That's too bad. You
are the only person I knew in New York.
Sally: I'd like the chef salad
please with the oil and vinegar on the side and the apple pie a la mode.
Waitress: Chef and apple
a la mode.
Sally: But I'd like the pie
heated and I don't want the ice cream on top I want it on the side and
I'd like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it if not then no ice
cream just whipped cream but only if it's real if it's out of a can then
Waitress: Not even the pie?
Sally: No, just the pie,
but then not heated.
Sally: Harry, you might not
believe this but I never considered not sleeping with you a sacrifice.
Marie: I'm saying, that the
right man for you might be out there right now, and if you don't grab him
someone else will and you'll have spend the rest of your life knowing that
someone else is married to your husband.
Sally: At least I got the
Harry: That's what everybody
says to me too. But really what's so hard about finding an apartment? What
you do is, you read the obituary column. Yeah, you find out who died, and
go to the building and then you tip the doorman. What they can do to make
it easier is to combine the obituaries with the real estate section. Say,
then you'd have Mr. Klein died today leaving a wife, two children, and
a spacious three bedroom apartment with a wood burning fireplace.
Harry: You're the worst kind.
You're high maintenance but you think you're low maintenance.
Sally: I don't see that.
Harry: You don't see that?
Waiter, I'll begin with a house salad, but I don't want the regular dressing.
I'll have the Balsamic vinegar and oil, but on the side. And then the Salmon
with the mustard sauce, but I want the mustard sauce, on the side. On the
side is a very big thing for you.
Sally: Well I just want it
the way I want it.
Harry: I know. High maintenance.
Lady from another table: I'll
have what she's having.
Jess: When someone is not
that attractive, they're always described as having a good personality.
Harry: Look, if you would
ask me, "What does she look like?" and I said, "She has a good personality."
That means she's not attractive. But just because I happened to mention
that she has a good personality, she could be either. She could be attractive
with a good personality, or not attractive with a good personality.
Jess: So which one is she?
Jess: But not beautiful,
Sally: No, but why didn't
he want to marry me? What's the matter with me?
Harry: Aw, nothing.
Sally: I'm difficult.
Harry: You're challenging.
Sally: I'm too structured,
I'm completely closed off.
Harry: But in a good way.
Sally: No, no, no I drove
him away, and I'm going to be forty.
Harry: In eight years.
Sally: But it's there. It's
just sitting there like this big dead end. And it's not the same for men.
Charlie Chaplain had babies when he was seventy three.
Harry: Yeah but he was too
old to pick them up.
Harry: If you're there please
pick up the phone, I really want to talk to you. The fact that you're not
answering leads me to believe that you're a) Not at home. b) Home, but
don't want to talk to me. Or c) Home, desperately want to talk to me, but
trapped under something heavy. If it's either a) or c) call me back.
Sally: I'm sorry Harry, I
know it's New Years Eve, I know you're feeling lonely, but you just can't
show up here, tell me you love me and expect that to make everything alright.
It doesn't work this way.
Harry: Well how does it work?
Sally: I don't know but not
Harry: Well how about this
way. I love that you get cold when it's seventy one degrees out, I love
that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich, I love that you
get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm
nuts, I love that after I spend a day with you I can still smell your perfume
on my clothes and I love that you are the last person I want to talk to
before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's
not because it's New Years Eve. I came here tonight because when you realise
you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest
of the life to start as soon as possible.
Sally: You see, that is just
like you Harry. You say things like that and you make it impossible for
me to hate you.
Sally: Three months later
we got married.
Harry: Yeah it only took
Sally: Twelve years and three
Harry: We had this... we
had a really wonderful wedding.
Sally: It was a, it really
was, it was a wonderful wedding.
Harry: Yeah, we had this
enormous coconut cake.
Sally: Huge coconut cake,
with the, with the... tiers and this... very rich chocolate sauce on the
Harry: Right, 'cos not everybody
likes it on the cake 'cos it makes it very soggy.
Sally: Particularly the coconut,
soaks up a lot of that stuff, so you really... it's important to keep it
on the side.