Kat:  I realize that the men of this fine institution are severely lacking, but killing yourself so you can be with William Shakespeare is beyond the scope of normal teenage obsessions. You're venturing far past daytime talk show fodder and entering the world of those who need very expensive therapy.

My insurance does not cover PMS!

Bianca Stratford: Has the fact that you're completely psycho managed to escape your attention?

Walter Stratford: Hello, Katarina. Make anybody cry today?
Kat Stratford: Sadly, no. But it's only 4:30.

Cameron: I burn, I pine, I perish.
Michael: Of course you do.

Joey Donner: Mr. Morgan, is there any way we can get Kat to take her Midol before she comes to class?

Chastity: I know you can be underwhelmed, and you can be overwhelmed, but can you ever just be, like, whelmed?
Bianca: I think you can in Europe.

Bianca: Are you asking me out? That's so cute. What's your name again?

Walter: I'm down, I've got the 411, and you are not going out and getting jiggy with some boy, I don't care how dope his ride is. My mama didn't rasie no foo'!

Walter Stratford: I delivered a baby to a fifteen-year-old girl today, and you know what she said to me?
Bianca: I'm a crack-whore who should have forced my skeezy boyfriend to wear a condom?
Walter Stratford: Close, she said "I should have listened to my father."
Kat: No she didn't.
Walter Stratford: Well, she would have if she wasn't too doped up to talk.

Bianca: You don't buy black underwear unless you want somebody to see it.

Kat Stratford: Hemingway was an abusive white-male alcoholic who hung around with Picasso hoping to nail his leftovers.

Kat: You're not as vile as I thought you were.

Bianca: There's a difference between like and love. I mean I like my Skechers, but I love my Prada backpack.
Chastity: But I love my Skechers.
Bianca: That's because you don't have a Prada backpack.

Kat: Remove head from sphincter, then drive!

Father: Kissing is not what keeps me up to my elbows every day in placenta.

Kat: I still maintain he kicked himself in the balls.

Mr. Stratford: Where is she going?
Kat: She's meeting bikers. Big ones. Full of sperm.
Mr. Stratford: Funny.

Mr. Stratford: Where do you think you're going?
Bianca Stratford: Well, if you must know... a small study group with friends.
Mr. Stratford: Better known as an orgy?
Chastity: It's only a party, Mr. Stratford.
Mr. Stratford: And hell is only a sauna.

Kat Stratford: [sarcastic] Oh yeah, I want you. Oh baby. Oh baby.

Patrick Verona: Don't get your panties in a twist
Katarina Stratford: Don't think for one minute that you had any effect whatsoever on my panties.
Patrick Verona: Well then, what did I have an effect on?
Katarina Stratford: Other than my upchuck reflex, nothing.

Ms. Perky: People perceive you as somewhat...
Katarina Stratford: Tempestuous?
Ms. Perky: "Heinous b----" is the term used most often.

Kat Stratford: I hate the way you talk to me / And the way you cut your hair. / I hate the way you drive my car. / I hate it when you stare. / I hate your big dumb combat boots / And the way you read my mind. / I hate you so much it makes me sick -- / It even makes me rhyme. / I hate the way you're always right. / I hate it when you lie. / I hate it when you make me laugh -- / Even worse when you make me cry. / I hate it that you're not around / And the fact that you didn't call. / But mostly I hate the way / I don't hate you -- / Not even close, not even a little bit, not any at all.