with apologies for the bad language


Detective James Carter: You sound like a karate movie.

Capt. Diel: Every so often, we have to let the general public
know that we can still blow s--- up.

Lee: I am not responsible for your assumption.
Carter: You full of s---, you understand me, you full of s---.
Lee: Not being able to speak is not the same as not speaking.
You seem as if you like to talk. I like to let people talk who like
to talk. It makes it easier to find out how full of s--- they are.
Carter: What the h--- did you just say?

Detective James Carter: Fifty million dollars?! Man, who you
think you kidnapped? Chelsea Clinton?!

Detective Inspector Lee: We can hang in my crib. I will show
you my 'hood.

Detective Inspector Lee: Ah! Beach Boys!
Detective James Carter: Oh, h--- no! You didn't just touch
my --- radio!
Detective Inspector Lee: The Beach Boys are great
American music.
Detective James Carter: The Beach Boys gonna get you a
great a-- whuppin'. Don't you ever touch a black man's radio,
boy! You can do that in China but you can get your a-- killed
out here, man!

Det. James Carter, LAPD: This is the LAPD. We're the most
hated cops in all the free world. My own mama's ashamed of
me. She tells everybody I'm a drug dealer.

Agent Whitney: Well as long as we're gonna humiliate
someone, might as well be LAPD.

Lee: Whassup, my nigga?
Bartender: What did you just say?
Lee: Whassup, my nigga.

Carter: It is not my job to be jumping on and off of buses, I
don't do that, I am not Carl Lewis!

Carter: How long this flight?
Lee: Fifteen hours.
Carter: Fifteen hours? What are we gonna do for fifteen hours?
Lee: [Puts on head phones and begins to sing] Huh! War!
Uh! Good God "yaw."
Carter: Oh, h--- no! Stewardess! Get me another seat!

Detective James Carter: This is the United States of James
Carter here. I'm the president, I'm the emperor, I'm the king. I'm
Michael Jackson, you Tito!


Detective Inspector Lee: This is my land. Here, *I* am
Michael Jackson and *you* are Toto.
James Carter LAPD: You mean Tito! Toto is what we ate for
dinner last night!

Detective Inspector Lee: Do you understand the words that
are coming out of my mouth?!
James Carter LAPD: Man, nobody understands the words
that come out of your mouth.

James Carter: [after accidentally punching Lee] Sorry, you
all look alike!


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"Untitled (Dragon)", by Kinuko Craft
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