Joe: This is between a waltz and a tango.
Mia: It's a wango?

Queen Clarisse Renaldi: Amelia, you look so... young.
Mia: Thank you. And you look so...
[long pause]
Mia: ...clean.

Michael: Why me?
Mia: Because you saw me when I was invisible.

Mia: Just in case I wasn't enough of a freak already, let's add a tiara!

Joe: I have never worn pantyhose but it sounds very dangerous.

Mia: I don't want to rule my own country, I just want to pass the tenth grade.

Mia: I can't be a princess! I'm still waiting for normal body parts to arrive!

[running to catch up Mia and Micheal]
Lilly: [screaming] WAIT FOR ME WAIT FOR ME!
[Two others teen agers stop, and look at her.]
Lilly: Wait. Wait. No, not you - I don't even know you!

Mia: Joseph, can we eighty-six the flags please?
Joe: No. The flags allow me to park anywhere. We keep the flags.
Mia: Sorry, Joseph.
Joe: You can call me, "Joe".
Mia: "Joey"?
Joe: [Chuckles then abruptly turns serious] No. Joe.

Mia: You'll never guess what Josh Bryant just asked me!
Michael: "Can I borrow a comb"?

Lilly: You're morphing into one of them! Next week you'll be waving pom-poms in my face!

Queen Clarisse Renaldi: You are princess of Genovia.
Mia: Me, a princess? SHUT UP!
Queen Clarisse Renaldi: Excuse me, shut up?

Mia: I can't do this, I'm a girl.
Gym Teacher Harbula: What am I? A duck?

Queen Clarisse Renaldi: Goodbye, trolley people!

Fontana: Tell me Mia. Is it true about your speech? Are you really speaking at the bulimic convention?
Lana Thomas: So you can speak and barf at the same time?
[Fontana makes vomiting noises]

Helen Thermopolis: Where are you going?
Mia: I'm going up to straighten the royal bedchamber.
Queen Clarisse Renaldi: Where is she going?
Helen Thermopolis: The tower. Mia! You can't run from everything!"
Queen Clarisse Renaldi: She has a tower?

Mia: As always, this is as good as it's going to get.

Mia: Okay, I look like an asparagus.

Queen Clarisse Renaldi: Helen, if Amelia refuses to accept the throne, then Genovia will cease to exist as we know it.
Helen Thermopolis: So the future of your country is in the hands my 15-year-old?
Mia: You know most kids hope for a car for their 16th birthday, not a country!

Helen Thermopolis: This is getting us nowhere! Talk to me!
Mia: I can't talk to you right now. I'm late for a meeting with my guidance counselor.
Queen Clarisse Renaldi: I'm late for a meeting with Spain and Portugal!

Helen Thermopolis: Mia, the-the three of us have to talk.
Mia: Oh, ok. Um, is there maybe something else about me and my life that just maybe I might want to know about? Um-oh no, are you two waiting to take me on a talk show somewhere and to let me know I have a twin sister who's a duchess?
Queen Clarisse Renaldi: You have a cousin who's a contessa. Fondly known as Bartholomew. Actually, we call him Pookie."

Helen Thermopolis: That Backstreet boy clone you've had a crush on for years?

Lilly: Is your mom dating an undertaker? 

Mia: Hey Joe? Can we park a block away from school? I really don't want to cause a riot with this hearse.
Joe: This is a non-riot hearse. And if it were a hearse there would be silence in the backseat.

Mia: Joe? I'm gonna turn the backseat into a dressing room so I can change into a proper outfit for Madame, OK?
Joe: OK. And don't forget your shoes. Strange town, San Francisco. When I purchased the pumps, they asked if I wanted them wrapped or if I was going to wear them.

[plucking Mia's eyebrows]
Paolo: If Brooke Shields married Groucho Marx their child would have your eyebrows!

Michael: Don't worry about me. I just consider myself royally flushed.


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"The Circle of the Seasons," by Linda Ravenscroft
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