I'm no stranger to heartbreak.
Why? You got psoriasis?

If you can't be an athlete,
be an athletic supporter.

Sandy, men are rats.
Listen to me. They're fleas on rats.
They're amoebas on fleas on rats.
They are too low for even dogs to bite.

Twinkies and wine? That's real class.
Says right here, it is a "dessert wine."

How do I look?
Like a beautiful blonde pineapple.

And among you young men,
There may be a Joe DiMaggio,
A president Eisenhower,
Or even
A vice president Nixon.

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Background:  "Tales from the Decameron," by John Waterhouse